Vortex’s

Every great sitcom has a few key elements for it to be successful. One of which is a common place thats not in the home of one of the characters houses. Usually its a restaurant, or bar. These places become iconic. Seinfeld had ‘Monks’, Friends had ‘Central Perk’,  Cheers had ‘Cheers’. Three HUGELY sucessful shows that all have this tie to a fictional restaurant. Current shows follow the same trend, How I Met Your Mother has ‘McLaren’s’,  Its Always Sunny In Philadelphia has ‘Paddys’ Irish Pub’, Sons of Anarchy has the bar in the clubhouse. The point being, that restaurants and bars, abiet it real or fictional have this power over us. There the preverbial ‘watering hole’.

The town that I live in sounds like a sitcom plot. Its a resort town, which on its own would be perfect for a tv show. This one has a little differnce to it. Theres alot of religious folk around, and when I say alot I mean alot. I would even hazard that over half of the company I work with would describe them selves as ‘strongly religious’. Which, is awesome, I am a firm believer that you can believe in whatever and whom ever you want, just dont try to force anything on me.

So, my town isnt your typical “Mountain Resort Town”, and for that I have to say, I’m actually pretty thankful. Typical is boring. My town, isnt.

The one good bar in town has been discribed as a ‘vortex’, you come in for a after work drink and if the servers like you, you end up staying till closing, and then going to an after party at someones cabin. I got stuck in the vortex yesterday and I thoroughly enjoyed it.  I finished work early and decided to have a quick glass of wine then get home, yeah that didnt happen. I ended up staying for awhile, then getting a bottle of wine and going over to someones house. Needless to say, I came home and my roommate 1 found me asleep on the couch at midnight.

It was a great night, but I got ‘vortex’ed’. So I have developed a new stratagey to avoid future ‘vortex’ situation.

  1. Have an exit strategy ALWAYS. (I recommend smoking, pay your tab on the sly and smoke and leave)
  2. Fake a phone call, you can leave the room and gather yourself
  3. Rotate between water and booze.
  4. Dont drink out of straws
  5. NEVER think that going drink for drink someone is a good idea
  6. Use bar cues to time your consumption (as an example, if your there during a baseball game, only drink in every other inning)
  7. This is a gooder, if your willing to deal with a few pregnancy jokes, JUST SAY NO!! you can be the sober one at the bar, “Being the sober one at a bar sucks, I’m out” is a perfect get-away card, its the walker version of “Sorry, I’m the DD”.
Hope these help.
If not, buckle up
enjoy the ride
and tip your bartender
until next time,
-Be a River with me
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