between raising hell and amazing grace.

I’ve been thinking alot about Karma lately.

The whole idea has always intruigued me. As kids my brothers and I were  taught “Do unto others as you would like done unto yourself”. Our parents taught us that if your a good person, then good things will happen to you. I wish I could say that I’ve always belived that, but I cant.

I’ve seen life deal some pretty shitty hands to people I love, and that makes me question the whole principal. I mean why is it that some of the best people I know get cancer, lose the love of there life to a brain hemorahage, loose a parent, witness car accidents, get an addiction or other life changing things. There isnt really a reason, at least as far as I can see.

Cancer has been a part of my life since I could remember, 3 grandparents, my mom, aunts, uncles, friends, friends parents. The list goes on. Not all of there stories have happy endings unfortunatly,the ones that do though, are spectacular.  When my mom got sick I think thats when my general distrust of  the “good things happen to good people” thing started.

I like to think that I’m a good person, I have my flaws which I admit, I drink to much, I swear like a trucker, I’m never put much stock in the “wait for marriage to have sex” idea, but at the end of the day, I like to believe that I am a good person with a good heart. I just dont  get why somethings happen the way they do.

I realized that karma, is alot like the title of the blog; Between Raising Hell and Amazing Grace’. (which is also one of the best episodes in season 8 of One Tree Hill and a Big&Rich song)  The most sence  I can make out of it is that, the idea of getting what you give into the universe almost forces you have to live life as a balance between the terrifying and the comforting (see…between raising hell and amazing grace…it works). Bad things happen to good people,  good things happen to bad people and sometimes, just sometimes, good things happen to good people and bad will happen to bad, and the best any of us can do is hold our breaths and hope that the balance will shift in our favor. In the mean time, grace is alot easier to defend then hell.

until next time,

– be a river with me


songs to love and die by.


The only true thing that the whole world has in common. Yes math is universal, but everyone (yours truly being one of them) dosent understand math. But music…music is the one common thread that binds us all.

Music, as I’ve mentioned before has had a HUGE part in my life. Im not musically inclined by any means, in fact I’m beginging to suspect that Im tone deaf.  But I LOVE music. Its amazing what it can do to people, it can help us celebrate, or mourn, it can lift you up and it can break you down, it can make or break a movie or a television show (can you imagine the difference if Forest Gump had an all heavy metal soundtrack? Or if Rescue Me had a country soundtrack? yeah…not as good eh?)

For the past few years my biggest inspirations for new music to fall in love with have been television shows. Heres my top  8 shows to get music from,

  1. Sons of Anarchy
  2. One Tree Hill
  3. Rescue Me
  4. Parenthood
  5. Community
  6. 90210 (my friends the Arkells were featured a few weeks ago on the show!)
  7. Happy Endings
  8. Glee

I am fully aware of how all over the map these 8 shows are, 2 are increadably dark FX shows with super attractive male leads (Charlie Hunnam and Denis Leary), 2 are CW dramas where all the actors are 10 years older then there supposed to be, 2 are hilarious comedys that make you cry with laughter, Parenthoods a delightful yet somewhat over the top family drama and the other is Glee. Yeah I watch Glee. They cover alot of super cool bands. I just had a thought.  I should list the best songs (in my opinion) from each show. Yup here comes another list!

  1. Sons Of Anarchy- Bird On A Wire- Katey Sagal and The Forest Rangers
  2. One Tree Hill- St Christopher (On My Way) -Micheal Logen *
  3. Rescue Me- C’mon C’mon- The Von Blondies (yeah its the theme song…still the best)
  4. Parenthood- Darlin’ Do Not Fear- Brett Dennen
  5. Community- ANYTHING by Childish Gambino-aka Donald Glover- aka Troy Barnes
  6. 902102- Where U Going- Arkells (as if i wouldnt pick them)
  7. Happy Endings- Baker Street- Gerry Rafferty
  8. Glee- Smooth Criminal- 2Cellos **

* Music is HUGE on One Tree Hill. St Christopher is my favourite song so far this season, there are SO many great artists and songs you should check out from OTH. especially Bethany Joy Galeotti, City and Color, Kate Vogele, Tyler Hilton….the list goes on and on.

** Yeah. thats what I picked, Smooth Criminal. I would have just as easily gone for Faithfully, Somewhere Over the Rainbow, Without You, Landslide, Smile (the Charlie Chaplin one, not Lily Allen), Girl’s Just Want to Have Fun,  or Without You. Actually, those are all good. In fact, I would go so far as to say that there version of Girls Just Want To Have Fun, done by the amazing (and Canadian) Cory Motheith is AMAZZING!!! I may or may not put it on in the morning when I’m doing make-up.

So there it is… music from TV shows that rock. Alot of these shows have given me music that has changed my life, I recently was asked “What songs would be on the soundtrack to your life”? and I came up with the following to describe my life at this very moment:

  1. Lonesome Day- Bruce Springsteen
  2. Don’t Stop Believing- Journey (this was PRE-Glee)
  3. A Head by a Century- The Tragically Hip
  4. Bench Seat Baby- Fred Eaglesmith
  5. Only the Good Die Young- Billy Joel
  6. Brooklyn (acoustic) – Wakey!Wakey!
  7. Swing Life Away- Rise Against
  8. Forever Young (Acapella)- Audra Mae and the Forest Rangers
  9. Motel Bible- Greg Cockerill
  10. Further West- Joshua Cockerill
  11. Dance In New York- Thea Gilmore.

So thats what I have for my soundtrack on March 15th 2012. Im sure that in 2 days half of those would change, 6 of them wouldn’t (Bruce will forever be number one) He will always be number one in my heart.

Songs to Love and Die by is the name of a 8mm album and the title of a season 4 episode of One Tree Hill.

until next time,

– be a river with me


Last night one of our suppliers hosted some of the higher-ups (and me by an awesome twist of fate) to box-seats at a professional lacrosse game. It was AWESOME!!  If you have the means, I highly suggest watching professional sports from box seats. It was amazing.

The food was a bit of a disapointment, the box next to us had bacon wrapped scallops and chicken fingers, and we had Salt and Pepper Wings, and BBQ wings. I was hankrin for some chicken fingers. But the free booze MORE then made up for it. I’d like to take this moment to cyber high five the good people at Smirnoff.

I got to hang out with some awesome people in the company away from work that I’d already met at work things before, and I got to meet some wicked people. Namely this super attractive guy from the UK (uber disapointment when he turned out to be married, and with a kid, and one on the way).

There may or may-not have been some stops for drinks on the way to the city, and then pre-game wobbly pops, and then the free booze began to flow….and it flew…. and flew….. and then I put some booze in my bag. Then we had post-game dranks…. then we went to a bar. So we didnt leave the city till 3am. After the requiste stop at McDonalds….. (McChicken Meals…..mmmmmmm yeah)

My roommates had a party at our place, so this morning we are all nursing some hangovers.  Roommate one made breakfast, which was so good.  So in honor of hang-overs I have compiled a list of the perfect hangover foods:

  1. BBQ Chicken Poutine (BBQ Sauce, Roast Chicken, French Fries, Cheese Curds and Gravy)
  2. Cold Hawaiian Pizza (Dominos is the best, PizzaPizza coming in a solid second)
  3. Ribs…..mmmm dem ribs is gooood
  4. Wendy’s JBC’s (Junior Bacon Cheese Burgers)
  5. Pancakes and Bacon, well really pancakes and any breakfast meat
  6. Cowboy Scramblers…(any breakfast joints breakfast skillet really)
  7. Strawberry Daiquiris..(Granted this is a drink, but usually theres some fruit on the rim)
  8. Grilled Cheese *
  9. Kraft Dinner…. really any kind of Mac’n’Cheese
  10. Chicken Fingers and Fries with Honey Garlic Wing sauce.
Any of those 10 will make you feel better, combine with some alchol (I recomened Blended fruity drinks, so you cant really taste the booze) and you’ll either feel better or at least be nice and full ready to begin a bender….

** the following is most of the fixin’s needed for the BEST Grilled Cheese EVER! I’m not going to tell you the recipe because thats my lil secret 🙂

My Perfect Grilled Cheese Fix’ns

    • Marble Rye Bread
    • Garlic Butter
    • Grated Cheddar and Monterey Jack Cheese
    • Stripy Bacon
    • Tomatoes
    • Side of Ranch Dressing

until next time

-be a river with me


I would love to take a moment now and rant about shit that really annoys me at restraunts.

  1. Your server is not an idiot, chances are they are more educated then you. You do not have to explain to them that a celiac cant have bread.
  2. You are not the only person in the restaurant (unless you actually are) the server has other shit to do, if you are an asshole, they will ignore you but chances are that they are just busy
  3. The more specific you are about your drink, the longer it takes to make. Why do you think most men get a beer, simple and easy.
  4. DONT LET YOUR KIDS RUN AROUD!! Do they do that at home? No. Should they do that in public? NO!!
  5. If your an asshole to your server, there is a really good chance that there gonna be an asshole back, just not directly to you
  7. If you are on a specific diet, please be polite. If you are nice, then your server will be nice and try to find you something that you can eat.
  8. Wait for the server to tell your kids what the restaurant has for drinks, why get the poor kids hopes up for Orange Soda when the doesn’t have it.
  9. IF YOU HAVE A GROUP OF MORE THEN 8 CALL AHEAD!!! Also, most restaurants aren’t ALWAY’s set up for large groups, so call a head. The more notice you give a place, the less agro the server will be.
  10. Tipping. This is a North American thing, I get that. But guess what! YOU ARE IN CANADA. I am a firm believer that you should adapt or get the hell out.
  11. Not knowing what you really want, learn how you like your eggs and your meat. There IS a difference between an Over Medium Egg and an Over Hard Egg. There is a HUGE difference between Medium, Medium Rare and Rare steaks. KNOW WHAT YOU LIKE AND KNOW WHAT YOU WANT!! also, trust the server when it comes to cuts of meat that you are unfamiliar with, ASK THE SERVER!!! They know what works, it has been ingrained into them. They will help you at the very least. **
  12. Servers, are not mind readers, they do not control the taxes, they don’t control the weather, they don’t make the menu, and guess what?! THEY ARE PEOPLE JUST LIKE YOU! Give the server a chance, chances are they’re trying there best, and they work for tips. You have one server, they have a bunch of tables and are trying to make some scratch on all of them.
  13. Apply the golden rule, do unto other as you would like done unto yourself. Would you want your server to come to your place of work and snap at you? or cough when they want your attention? No. so dont do that to them.

**I grew up in a Medium- Well/ Well steak home, now I live in Alberta, and LOVE Rare Steaks, I can do Blue once in awhile but its not my preferance, to a point where I have sent steaks back because they were under-done.

Be nice to the people that you come across in your life, the rewards will come.

until next time

– be a river with me.