echos, silence, patience and grace

There’s just silence…There’s just silence. I come in here and I sit in silence and hear the echoes of who we used to be. And so I wish for patience, and grace, and strength to just let him be happy. Mostly I pray for the strength to not make his life worse because of what I want. That’s the toughest part, letting go, you know? That’s the part of grace that really sucks. – Peyton Sawyer

Ever since I heard this for the first time its kinda stuck with me.  Then I figured out that ‘Echos, Silence, Patience and Grace’ is the name of a Foo Fighters album and a line in one of there best songs ‘Home’.  ESPG….a mantra that I have used many a time, in a plethora of different situations and its always helped.

No matter how much we change ourselves, we are all echos of our former selves.  No matter how much we try to change,  we will always be some version of ourselves.  We grow but a part of holds on to who were were, good or bad. Whether it be a reminder to not be that person again, or the catalyst for us to be that person again. I have  a good friend who a few weeks ago celebrated being 3 years clean, he remembers who he was and is determined to not be that person again. His echo isnt good, but it keeps him moving forward, determined not to fall back into that life. I respect that about him, and though I would never say it to their face, it inspires me.

Silence is one of those weird things, it can be great or it can make you nuts. I happen to love comfortable silences, those moments where the room just fills with all the things you dont need to say.  The stillness that comes with silence is something that I not only enjoy but I consiciously seek out.  I think alot of the silences’s in peoples days go by unnoticed. We put so much stock in words, (dont get me wrong I LOVE words) but we forget how awesome silence can be, how comfortable it can feel. We could all use a little more silence, a little more stillness.

Patience is a virture.. I wish I had more patience, but I dont, and honestly I dont think alot of the people in my generation do. We are, as much as we all hate to admit it, a single serving society. The faster we get something, the happier we are. But as the old saying goes, “stop and smell the roses”. I try  to savor the simple moments,  taking a longer shower, walking a little slower, the feeling of the sun on my face, sipping coffee instead of gulping it down (i still gulp coffee, but i try to sip the second cup at least), gernerally taking the simple moments and embrasing them, noticing them.

I looked up the meaning of grace, there are 5 definintons. The one im gonna run with is “simple elegance or refinement of movement, courteous goodwill or an attractivley polite manner of behaving”. Ive always believed that grace is moving above your self, being the best version of yourself, even at your own expense.  The more I think about ESPG I realize that grace is all of those things. Its respecting the echos, its making the silences matter and striving for patience, that its grace.

maybe we all need some ESPG.  or at the very least embrace one of the four.

until next time.

– be a river with me


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