the lonesome road

CJ pointed out to me when she came to visit that I always live with attractive people. And I thought about it for like a second then it slipped my mind.

It came up again a few weeks ago when I listed my current roommates to someone from head office, and they said the same thing.

90% of the time I love the guys I live with, but that other 10% I hate that Im the “girl roommate” it puts me in instant “friend zone” and i HATE it! I live with 4 amazing guys who are all babes in there own ways. And I know nothing can or will ever happen with them and if I am being honest (and i usually am here). Yes I have slept with one of them, (Jack)  but that was YEARS before we lived together.

I’m the girl they live with, the one who watches the Y&R and tears up at Glee, but a part of me will always want them to see me as just a girl.

Its kind of like Dean and I, I know that were friends and I love that about us and I do love that I’m friends with Alan, Nick, JP and Jack… but it hurts that I’m always going to be in the FZ, never anything more than that. At least with Dean and Monty I got to have sex first and then go into FZ.

I dont want to be the perpetual friend, it sucks. But at the same time, this lonely heart has seen way to many RomComs to count myself out of the game… I mean if Ginnifer Goodwin can get the guy at the end of almost any movie she’s in than maybe theres still a glimmer of hope for me yet. or maybe I still need to work at  get my confidence/mojo back.

I did have a great moment of confidence at BettyLivin’s AMAZING wedding last month, I had a great time with one of the grooms men but just couldn’t close (wow that sounds crass) but who knows…maybe I need a few almost awesome moments before I get to where I’m supposed to be.

‘The Lonesome Road’ is the title of a Season 2 episode of One Tree Hill and a song by the late great Frank Sinatra, i feel that no explanation is needed for why I picked it for todays post

until next time

– be a river with me